At the age of 39, I had two failed marriages under my belt and could not have expected to enter another engagement. Life has its own plans for me, bringing me people I look for when I least expect it.
Roger has never been married and never expected to be. We started a relationship straight out of a failed second marriage, and we were both at a loss about what our final goal would be – until we fell in love hard and never looked back.
His family had helped him financially in previous marriages
Preparing for the wedding before it is simpler. Both families chipped in financially, which seems to be customary. Roger and I’s marriage will be much more difficult. Roger’s father died 13 years ago, and his mother suffered from Alzheimer’s disease. We knew we had to find our own way to make our wedding dreams come true.
The writer got creative to make ends meet for his third marriage. Courtesy of the author
The most sensible solution is to opt for a long engagement, allowing more than two years to plan and budget for the big day. Roger is a respiratory care specialist and is currently in massage therapy school. I am a freelance writer and pet caretaker. We raised Roger’s daughter and took care of our dog and two cats. In today’s economy, we live paycheck to paycheck.
We have to be creative
Instead of an engagement party, we chose to save the Bar Party. Instead of gifts, attendees will bring bottles of spirits to be served at the wedding reception. Each bottle will earn you a raffle ticket for a chance to win a free massage. This option will allow us some relief in the cost of alcohol and will also give Roger more practice with his massage skills.
The first item to secure is a board. We can find a marina that is cost-effective, flexible, and offers both ceremony and reception space. Tables and chairs are included in the cost, as well as a kitchen area for receptions. The venue provides security to help with parking, so there is no need for valet parking. When we called to place a deposit, we were pleasantly surprised to receive a 10% discount for ordering early.
We created a free wedding website to help us stay organized. Here are the event details, guest list, and registration. We choose not to send Save-the-Dates and send invitations only. I use social media to find ideas for everything from decor to planning, and I’ve joined an online wedding budget group for cost-effective advice.
The author and his partner have enlisted the help of their friends for the wedding. Courtesy of the author
Roger and I have a large group of friends, and we ask for help but they can. We know the owner of a local bar who is going to “adult bingo” on Saturday night, and we know he will be the perfect mix of crude humor and soft heart to officiate our wedding. He said it was on his bucket list to marry the couple and he was honored to do us a favor.
We have friends who are happy to DJ for us for a small fee, and friends who offer us photography in exchange for party invitations. One of Roger’s classmates will be our MC, ensuring a smooth day and directing guests as needed. We have had many offers from others to help with planning, decorating, and catering.
Ideally, Roger and I will have a light financial burden when we plan for our upcoming wedding. In a perfect world, we would get help from every family. However, we find ourselves in the process itself. At our age, we know what is most important.
Life may not deal me the hand I want, but Roger is always in my cards.