I didn’t think the parking lot would have a huge impact on my life, but in the end, the thought of not having to parallel park on the street every day made me realize that I wanted to return to the city where I grew up.
My partner and I are trying to buy our first house together and hope to stay in Oxford, the city we have lived in for the past five years.
I talked to the real estate agent about what we were looking for, and he raised his eyebrows a bit when I told him our budget. He told me that if I wanted off-street parking in our budget, we should consider smaller towns outside of the city.
There is one town we know very well, because I grew up living there, 25 minutes away. My parents live there, and I go back often, so my hometown was an obvious choice to move to.
At first, I rejected the idea of moving home
At first, I resisted because I thought the resignation was a cop-out. I remember growing bored and like I couldn’t wait to move somewhere else, but when the agent showed me what I could get for the budget – a house, parking and a garden, instead of a small flat with no outside space – the math and logistics started to make sense.
We were planning to start a family in the not-too-distant future, and I wanted to put down the roots so that the prospect of being close to my parents and a place I knew was attractive to me. We decided to do this, and 12 years later, I’m now raising my children in the same city as me.
People have known me since I was a child
I have learned that raising a child in one’s hometown is a unique experience. Many people have known you since you were young, and sometimes it can feel like you’ve gone back in time.
The author returned to his hometown 12 years ago. Courtesy of the author
It was strange to bring my children to the club at the old school, and even stranger when I saw people I went to school with their own children on the school walk. I still feel like children, not parents. And sometimes I cringe knowing that people know my past mistakes or like me as an awkward teenager.
When my children were little, I felt guilty. I’m worried it’s too unadventurous, and I don’t have much access to culture, jobs, and city life. My city is quite small and quiet, and I miss living in the city, the architecture, the services, and the atmosphere.
For a while, I thought about moving to the coast or going back to the city. But as we’ve all gotten older — my kids are now 7 and 9 — I’ve realized how lucky I am.
Being close to my parents has been a lot
As my children grew up, being close to my parents and seeing them regularly made a huge difference in my life. My son is autistic, and it’s hard to find childcare – but parents can help us. Being close means we can all help each other with caregiving, and it makes my life easier.
I’m now grateful that my two children and I can spend time with their parents so easily, and I’m glad the family support network I have around me.
Living where you grew up has other benefits too. I’m still close with some old friends who have stayed local, and I love seeing people. I also have a lot of hometown knowledge and know where the best places to eat, play, and visit are.
I have learned to love where I live and have put down my own roots here as an adult instead of a child. I have made new friends and feel like a part of the community in the part of town where I now live.
There are disadvantages, like lack of culture, but it is not difficult to take a bus or train, and I like to travel for events and travel in exchange for benefits.
I have realized that there is no perfect life arrangement, but it is still weighing the pros and cons of where you are physically and where you live. For me now, the downsides are worth the benefits of living in my hometown – and the fact that I rarely have to parallel park turns out to be just the cherry on top.