This well-known article is based on a conversation with Brandon Wade, who seek. Edited for length and clarity.
When I met my wife Dana in 2020, I was not in a good place. I just celebrated my 50th birthday alone. I’ve been married three times and divorced three times, and it’s been painful for me. I don’t believe in love anymore.
I was immediately attracted to Dana – attraction is very important when it comes to online dating. The day after she texted me, we talked on the phone for four hours. A few days later, I flew from my home in Las Vegas to Florida to meet her.
We discovered that even though we are 30 years apart, we share similar values and experiences growing up. Dana is ambitious and unafraid to ask me tough questions like, “What are you most afraid of?”
Loneliness is my biggest fear. But when I met Dana, I realized that this didn’t have to be my destiny.
I feel like I’m being left behind by dating sites
When I was younger, I felt like I was being left behind by the dating industry. I’m successful and nerdy – an MIT graduate. I was so focused on academics and success that my social skills suffered. Picking up girls didn’t come naturally to me.
I wanted to design a dating site that would allow men like me to showcase what we really have to offer: our abilities, abilities, successes, and ambitions. I launched Seeking Arrangements in 2006. We know our purpose is to connect young women with successful men.
Many people think this idea has a negative connotation. Most of the judgment is directed at women. But women shouldn’t be judged for wanting more from life and who they date. Wanting a generous, successful, ambitious partner is not a moral or ethical failure.
My parents were married nearly 60 years
In 2019, my company changed its name to Seeking and banned transactional dating. To me, transactional dating means setting specific parameters, such as “If you give me X, I will do Y.” All relationships are transactional to some extent, but there shouldn’t be a score-keeping relationship.
As Seeking, the company’s goal remains to connect successful, ambitious people. Most of the women on our site are between 18-35 years old and the men are between 30-60 years old. However, age gaps as big as mine and Dana’s are uncommon: the average age gap on our site is 12 years.
Seeking to empower men like me to highlight their attractiveness: their wealth, lifestyle, and achievements. In a sense, we’d rather state explicitly what’s often not said in dating: women value their partner’s success.
My parents have been married nearly 60 years. One of the things that attracted my mom to my dad in Singapore was that he drove a car, not a motorcycle. It showed that he could provide for the family she wanted to raise.
My parents-in-law are about 3 years older than me
Today, Dana and I are co-CEOs of the company. She is Gen Z and I am Gen X, which gives us a good multi-generational perspective. In a way, we’re Seeking’s biggest success story, and now we’re co-pilots helping other couples find their partners.
When Dana and I got married in 2022, we did not have a prenuptial agreement. I’m a multimillionaire; Dana comes from a middle-class family. We all want to show our family and friends that we are fully committed. I won’t have a fourth divorce.
Once Dana’s parents saw how fun and natural we were together, I think any doubts they had about us disappeared. I call her parents mom and dad, even though they are only three years older than me.
Dana and I don’t have kids yet, but we want them. When our kids ask how we met, I tell them it was a match made in heaven, but it also took a lot of hard work. The dating industry didn’t offer me a solution for finding love, so I created one. I want my future children to know that you can always have what you want if you are willing to work hard and solve the problems in front of you.